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Archive for the ‘My Thoughts’ Category

Only In Disappointment

The
Winding
Path
Apportions
Glimpses
Of
The
Longed for
Destination
Only
To
Take
The Traveler
On
Unfamiliar
Journeys
Not
Chosen,
Pushing,
Pulling,
Tearing
The
Soul,
Betraying
Dreams

©tales0397

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A Walk

A
toast
to
distances
forgotten

connect
remembered
souls,
turning
back
indifference
toward
missed
conversations
in
far
off
places
of
the
mind,
discovering
time
and
space
with
the
other
©tales0397

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I had the opportunity to share my thoughts about who I think I am today and what I believe in front of an audience.

My intent was to share my well-rehearsed mantra and tell my personal story–a story of acting “as-if” in regards to my personal perception that I am not of value. However, when I arose to speak I found myself sharing what I felt spontaneously–abandoning my notes. During the ten or so minutes of speaking, I felt I had value. I felt I was of a good heart. I felt I was on the path to healing, not simply acting “as-if,” without saying any of this out loud.

I felt my own mantra and was able to convey these feelings of self value to my audience without using my pre-thought words.

After the speech I pondered what had happened and again felt the feeling that I was of value. I knew for the first discernible moment I am a spiritual being having an earthly experience. I felt my big, black hole inside illuminated and not all that dark. I did not feel like a “phony”, to quote Holden Caulfield in “The Catcher in the Rye.” I did not feel like I was unworthy and therefore unable to be walking the talk on this path.

I felt I was able to truly live my mantra, and that my mantra was more now than the meanings of the words on the page to me.

©tales0397

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Glad to see I’m not alone out there. Real change is a great opportunity for self reflection and service. It’s messy and you have to be all in. Thank you for sharing these thoughts.

2HelpfulGuys

When I was young I wanted to have an impact on the world.

I went through different stages of how I would want to accomplish this task. While going through my blood disorder I wanted to become a doctor, after that I wanted to be in a famous band, and after that I wanted to do something in politics.

I dreamed of changing the world, but I could barely get a handle on my own life and the world that surrounds me, never mind the world at large.

With the coming of the new year I finally feel like I have positioned myself to impact the world on a scale far past anything I have done in the past.

In my dreams I always imagined this point arriving much sooner, but I had a lot of lessons to learn up to this point. Changing the world may seem out of…

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I search for words with meaning. I search to discover my thoughts linked to my emotions. I search for my self, finding an elusive, familiar stranger. I’m mired in fear and anger, sensing more behind my centered black hole, and seeing only glimpses of light that frustrate further.

A step in a new direction tenses my soul–I think? Walking back the way I came unwittingly to the place I have forgotten hurts. I search for the predicted joy, finding only moments of happiness.

I press on getting to know myself, tearing at my seams, taking each moment presently, walking out of the dark into patches of lighter darkness.

©tales0397

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Reality

Reality is not for the faint of heart. Faint, but make sure you get back up again.

I think this is my quote, but am not really sure anymore…

Copyright © tales0397

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The Gossip Ministry

Home of the Back Ache, Heart Attack, Surprise and Disappointment Divisions. Also popular are the Centers for Opportunities for Some, Training for Others and Disenfranchisement.

Copyright ⓒ by tales0397

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